American History

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It was the first day of school, and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, was entering the fourth grade.

The teacher greeted the class and said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said, 'Give me liberty or give me death?'"

She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up.

"Patrick Henry, 1775," said the boy.

"Now," said the teacher, "who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth?'"

Again, there was no response except from Toshiba. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "You should be ashamed. Toshiba, who is new to our country, knows more about it than you do."

As she turned to write something on the blackboard, she heard a loud whisper: "Damned Japanese."

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982," he said.

At that point, feeling completely disgusted by Toshiba's classroom superiority, a student in the back sighed and said, "I'm gonna throw up."

The Teacher asked, "Who said that?"

Again, Toshiba raised his hand and said, "George Bush to Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Well suck my dick!"

Once again, it was Toshiba with the answer: "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997."